Becoming the Woman I Was Meant to Be

From the beginning of my life, things haven’t been easy.
We all go through things we would never choose for ourselves, but the truth is, not everything is in our hands. Sometimes, it’s just what God has written for us.

I grew up without a father to support me, and I know that if he were here, life would have been easier. He was the greatest man I could have had in my life. But that wasn’t the only challenge I faced. Through everything, I never stopped. I learned things the hard way. I had to be strong, almost masculine, and it felt very heavy on me because I believed it was the only way to survive.

For 24 years, I learned from my mother - a woman who was not just my mom, but someone who tried to fill every gap in my life. She taught me that life doesn’t stop, that we grow through hardships, and that strength is how we face this world.

One thing my mother couldn’t teach me - and maybe couldn’t remind herself of - was how to be soft, how to be feminine, and how to truly care about being happy.

As I grew older and reached my twenties, I stepped more into the real world. I started noticing how other women lived. I found myself comparing my behavior and my past to theirs; not because I felt empty, but because I realized how masculine I had become.

I had always done everything on my own. I refused help, believing I was strong enough to handle everything alone. In a way, it made me proud. I felt like I could face anything. But looking back, even the smallest things shaped this mindset.

Because of that, I always felt older than my age; almost wiser or more old-school than my generation. Maybe it was because of what I had to go through, or because I was always surrounded by people older than me. It was nice in some ways, but also frustrating, because I never really felt like a little girl when I was supposed to.

I remember something as simple as group projects. I could never fully trust my teammates’ work, so I would end up doing everything myself just to make sure it was right. I always knew it wasn’t the best way to handle things, and maybe even unfair, but it made me feel in control. It made me feel safe.

That habit followed me into every part of my life. I became the person who carries everything alone; not because I had to, but because I believed I couldn’t rely on anyone else. Deep down, something about that always felt off. I knew something wasn’t right, but I didn’t understand it well enough to change it.

When I started my corporate life, things began to shift. I met women who seemed grounded, balanced, and truly put together. For the first time, I wasn’t comparing myself - I was learning.

Around the same time, I got engaged. That relationship wasn’t healthy, and it gave me a difficult experience when it came to men. But somehow, both experiences came at the right moment. They pushed me to start exploring a different side of myself - to understand what it really means to be a woman, and to reconnect with the feminine energy I had buried for so long.

I also started seeing myself differently. I would look at myself in the mirror in a new way. I began treating my body and my beauty with more care and attention. These might seem like small things, but they were actually a turning point for me. They helped me bring out the woman inside me, the one who was no longer a little girl but someone ready to grow, feel, and live differently.

Since then, I started treating the woman inside me differently. It reflected in my confidence and in the way I connected with people. My leadership improved, my teamwork became easier, and even my interests and the way I managed my time started to change. Most importantly, my mental health began to get better.

I also changed the way I saw comparison. I realized that comparing myself to others, with the intention of learning, wasn’t a bad thing. It was actually a smarter way to grow - to learn from others instead of trying to figure everything out alone, especially from other women.

To conclude, life will not always give you the chance to become a strong woman but your will to become one will.